Let Them Work, Let Them Learn
Reclaiming Agency in a System That Doesn’t Bend: A guide for families and mentors navigating California’s rigid education landscape
One of my students stopped coming to school because he started showing up for a plumbing job. He made a decision, took responsibility, and found purpose. But in the eyes of the system, he was truant. This guide is for him—and for all the students ready to learn, but stuck in a system that won’t flex.
I. When They Stop Coming to School, But Start Showing Up
This hits home.
One of my most powerful experiences during my time with the PASS AmeriCorps program involved a student who had failed every class since grades were first reported. He was an English learner, a freshman, and completely disengaged—wouldn’t even copy answers placed right in front of him.
No matter what I tried, it felt like I was making no impact. Still, I stayed consistent. I made sure he knew his agency mattered to me. I always told my students, “I have goals for our sessions, but if you think something I’m saying is dumb or there’s a better way, tell me.” I positioned myself more as a curious guide than an authority.
After nearly 10 hours together with no visible progress, he suddenly opened up. He spoke about wanting to be more disciplined, dealing with growing social anxiety, and his desire to get back into a healthier mindset. We talked for over an hour. I was elated, and it remains one of the most meaningful conversations of my life.
Shortly after, he stopped coming to school.
At first glance, it looked like a failure. But when I investigated, I found he had gotten a job doing construction and plumbing. His mom even called the school—he was refusing to come back because he was committed to working.
In the eyes of the school system and AmeriCorps, that’s a dropout. But to me, that was a win. He was taking ownership, building self-efficacy. I only wish there were a way for our mentorship to continue, to build out a personalized program aligned with the skills he was developing on the job.
But in California, unless you have resources, there’s no real infrastructure for that kind of support.
And within our current system, many students figure out the game. They see their friends and family who went to the continuation school after junior year and made up all their credits in less than a year. So their thought is: why bother trying now? I’ll just do that later.
Most of the so-called “struggling” students I work with are actually sharp enough to see right through the performative aspects of school. They crave relevance. If something doesn’t connect to their real life, they won’t fake it just to please a system. But when their spirit is honored, when their energy is directed toward something meaningful, they can become unstoppable.
II. The Myth of Educational Freedom
You’ll hear it often: “If you don’t like the system, just opt out.”
Homeschool.
Find an alternative.
Build your own path.
It sounds like freedom. But in most places—especially in California—it’s not.
There are no universal school choice vouchers here. No easy access to Education Savings Accounts (ESAs) that follow the student. If you want to homeschool, you’re on your own. That means designing a curriculum, finding assessment tools, purchasing access to tutors, apps, courses, programs, and footing the entire bill yourself.
You can technically register your home as a private school. But there’s no funding that follows you. No aid. No credit recovery partnerships. No institutional support that says: We see the agency in your decision. Let’s help you personalize it.
In short, the freedom is legal, but not material.
It’s structurally available, but economically unreachable for many families.
If you’re middle class with a flexible job and internet access? Maybe.
If you’re working-class, time-poor, and stretched thin already? Forget it.
And this is what makes the conversation around agency so complex. When we say “students should have ownership over their education,” the reality is: they often can’t, even if they want to. Even when they make brave, self-directed moves (like my student who chose plumbing), there’s no path to build a new structure around their choice. The best they can do is drop out and hope for the best.
This isn’t freedom. It’s a dead end disguised as autonomy.
And when that’s the reality, telling a student to “just be more disciplined” or “adjust their attitude” rings hollow. They’re already doing something bold: choosing relevance over compliance. But the system isn’t set up to reward that. It’s set up to ignore it.
III. What Real Agency Looks Like in Action
Agency is a word that gets thrown around a lot in education circles, but too often, it’s misrepresented.
It’s not about kids making every decision.
It’s not chaos or entitlement.
And it’s definitely not passive compliance wrapped in the language of empowerment.
Real agency is self-authorship.
It’s a student saying, “This matters to me. I’m willing to work for it.”
It’s recognizing when something doesn’t align with their path, and having the awareness, tools, and support to do something about it.
And importantly, agency isn’t innate. It’s built.
I’ve worked with students who show up hardened, disengaged, or checked out—not because they don’t care, but because they’ve learned their voice doesn’t matter. No one listens. No one explains why. They’ve been conditioned to think the best move is silence or resistance.
But when given space to reflect, when they’re invited into a relationship where their experience is honored, they begin to change. Not instantly. But gradually. They push back. They test. They say, “That’s dumb.” And I say, “Okay. Tell me why.”
That’s when things open.
And from there, we can build.
Agency doesn’t undermine structure. The more a student feels their input matters, the more they’re willing to engage with structure on purpose. They begin to internalize discipline, not because someone told them to, but because they’ve started to see themselves as someone worth building.
IV. Why California Makes It Hard
If you're in California and you want to build an education around your child’s interests, energy, and initiative—good luck. You're on your own.
California doesn’t offer education savings accounts. There are no universal school vouchers. There’s no state support for families who want to opt out of the one-size-fits-all model. Not unless you can pay for private school, hire tutors, or design your own learning system from scratch.
You can register as a private school. Technically.
But functionally, that just means you're now a school administrator, with no funding, no institutional backing, no curriculum, no tech, and no support staff. Just paperwork, isolation, and bills.
Even charter-based independent study programs still require families to check boxes and follow state pacing, often under the same pressures and limitations that families were trying to escape.
So what happens?
Students stay in school, get labeled, get tracked, get demoralized.
Or, they opt out informally. Quietly. Like the student I mentored.
And California offers no bridge for that student. Only consequences.
V. What Paths Do Exist (Even If They’re Hard)
🏡 Private School Affidavit (PSA)
File your home as a private school. Maximum autonomy, no support.
🔗 PSA Instructions
💻 AI Tutors & Tools
Khan Academy + Khanmigo
Socratic by Google
ChatGPT (Free tier)
Notion, Obsidian, FreeCodeCamp, Duolingo, Desmos
🎓 CHSPE or GED (For Early Graduation)
CHSPE = Diploma equivalent
GED = Nationally recognized high school equivalency
🧪 Project-Based Learning
Students can document real-world learning and build a learning portfolio to showcase skills, growth, and initiative.
🤝 Microschools & Pods
KaiPod Learning
Prenda
Acton Academy
Local homeschool co-ops (Facebook, Meetup, Wild + Free)
VI. A Call to Build: What Comes Next
We shouldn’t need a workaround for every student who thinks differently, learns differently, or acts with a little too much agency.
We need systems built for them.
That means:
Flexible funding for families
Recognition of real-world learning
A shift from compliance to curiosity
Support for mentors and students designing new paths
We need to stop punishing agency and start preparing for a world where it's the most valuable skill a young person can have.
VII. Resources & Starter Pack
Legal Opt-Out
Tools
Khan Academy, Socratic, ChatGPT
Notion, Duolingo, Brilliant, FreeCodeCamp
Obsidian, Grammarly, Desmos, Coursera (Free audits)
Communities
Wild + Free
KaiPod, Prenda, Acton
Homeschool pods (Meetup, Facebook)
If this resonated, I’d love to connect, especially with others working to reimagine what education can be. I’m always open to collaborative work, system design, and building bridges between students and the tools that help them grow.